Yes... you know you want to read it. Found this on literotica (don't ask why I was there!) and it is HILARIOUS. Star Wars fans, rejoice! AHAHAHAHA.
STAR WHORES - Episode IV
A LONG TIME AGO IN A GALAXY FAR, FAR AWAY...
A NEW GROPE.
It is a period of civil
war. Pursued by the Empire's
sinister agents, horny Princess Leia
races home aboard her starship, custodian
of the stolen plans that can restore freedom to the galaxy...
The Blockade Runner was dwarfed by the vast wedge of the Imperial Star Destroyer. Its drive destroyed, the smaller craft was swallowed by the Imperial warship. Stormtroopers boarded the ship and any resistance was quickly overpowered. Princess Leia found herself brought before the towering Dark Lord Darth Vader.
"Darth Vader. Only you could be so bold," pouted Leia.
"We know the plans were beamed aboard this ship," said Vader. "And we will find them..." and he reached out a massive black hand and caught Leia between the legs, "Wherever you have hidden them."
Leia found herself lifted off the deck by Vader's enormous hand. His iron finger pressed through her thin robe and found her slit. Leia moaned and wiggled and she slipped deeper onto the Dark Lord's finger. Taking hold of Vader's control panel she pushed harder and his finger sank to the last knuckle. Her robe bunched around her groin and her bare legs danced six inches over the deck. "Yes," she gasped, "No! Keep looking! I mean, you'll never find them!"
Vader looked bemusedly at the writhing princess as the stormtroopers exchanged secret glances.
Luke Skywalker couldn't sleep. He could still hear aunt Beru screaming her way to her third orgasm. He decided he might tinker with the new droids. Descending to the garage, he stopped suddenly at the door. In the centre of the cluttered room, projected from R2D2's domed head, was a flickering blue and white hologram of the most beautiful woman Luke had ever seen. He lurked in the shadow of the doorway and, although a voice in his head told him it was even wronger than he could imagine, watched the lovely image.
The 12-inch Leia, in flowing white robe and trademark buns, looked sexily into the unseen camera and ran her tongue over her rosebud lips. Then, with a gleam in her eye, she turned round. Her hands traced the smooth lines of her hips and then squeezed a handful of delicious ass. One hand sunk between her legs as she touched herself through the thin white material.
"Oh, I've been a bad girl, Obi Wan," her recorded voice teased.
She hitched up the robe, over her long legs and her shapely ass cheeks. Her parted lips were visible below her ass and her finger slipped between them.
"I've been tempted by the Dark Side," she breathed. She bent down and raised her ass to the camera. Two fingers parted her lips and a third pushed into her hole. "I need a spanking."
Luke, leaning on a work bench with his cock in his hand, knocked a can of oil clattering to the floor. C-3PO's head jerked round and the hologram instantly disappeared.
"Bring it back!" yelled Luck, running into the room. R2D2 beeped and gurgled while Luke turned around and shoved his hard-on back in his pants.
"I'm sorry, Master Luke," said C-3PO. "He says he thought he'd deleted that, and besides, it's only for Obi Wan Kenobi."
"I wonder if he means Old Ben?" mused Luke. "We'll take a ride out there tomorrow." And, with one hand in his pants, Luke dashed from the garage.
C-3PO was shocked. "No, I do not think he's gone to 'squeeze one out'!"
The following day Luke and C-3PO tracked the errant R2D2 into the desert. They were attacked by Sand People, but rescued by Obi Wan Kenobi. Luke lay unconscious in Ben's hovel, while the old man watched a holographic Leia with lecherous interest...
"I've been tempted by the Dark Side. I need a spanking." The hologram Leia fingered her pussy from behind, spreading her lips lewdly and slipping a finger inside. Rolling onto her back, she parted her legs and continued fingering her hairy pussy in earnest. Spreading herself with one hand, she worked a finger from the other into her wet hole.
C-3PO watched silently shocked as R2D2 beamed the image into the centre of the cave. Ben's robe slowly formed a tent above his erection. Holding two fingers above his lap he Force-wanked himself, as Leia got herself hotter.
She brought her knees together on her busy hands, then parted them again. Two fingers wriggled in her pussy and holographic beads of moisture wet her lips and her pubic hair. She removed her fingers to lick them clean, pushing them in her mouth like they were a prick. "I'm wet for you Obi Wan," she moaned, driving her fingers home again. "I need to feel your lightsaber in me."
She sat up and wriggled out of her robe. Her natural 70s boobs bounced free just as Luke regained consciousness. "That's her!" he cried.
Ben jumped out of his seat and banged R2D2 on his round head. The image flickered and a new one of Leia appeared. "Help me, Obi Wan, you're my only hope." said the innocent Leia as Ben flustered with his robe and turned guiltily to the boy.
"Your father was a great Jedi," said Ben as Luke waved his new lightsaber around dangerously. "He knew the source of the Jedi's powers." Ben chuckled at an ancient memory. "We used to call him Anakin Pie-Stalker."
"Mos Eisley. You'll never find a more wretched hive of cum and villainy."
Figrin D'an and the Modal Nodes were playing in the Mos Eisley cantina when Luke and Ben came searching for a pilot. Han Solo was finding it difficult to negotiate a good price on account of the blue Twi'lek girl hidden under the table and professionally sucking his cock. Her eyes closed, her snake-like tongue coiled around his prick holding him forever at the moment of release.
"We could pay you two thousand now, plus fifteen when we reach Alderaan," said Ben.
The Twi'lek's head hit the table with a bump as Han suddenly came in her mouth. "Seventeen, huh!" he spluttered.
Princess Leia sat up from her cold cot as the door to the detention cell swished open. Her defiance turned to fear as the torture droid floated into the cell. A menacing black globe with a dozen insect-like arms, the torture droid whirred towards the princess.
Vader followed the droid into the cell. "And now, your Highness, we will discuss the location of your hidden Rebel base."
Leia backed into the corner as the door slid closed and the droid continued its whirring, menacing advance. It extended one thin robot arm tipped with a black rubber cock that oozed a clear fluid. She raised her hands to ward it off, but with two clawed arms the droid gripped her wrists. Leia had nowhere to run as, eyes wide with fear, the droid pushed the rubber cock against her mouth. The fluid smeared her pink lips and she tried to turn away, but the droid's incessant pressure forced the probe into her mouth.
The rubber cock slid between her lips. Deeper it probed and as Leia's mouth filled with the serum her countenance changed and she began sucking the cock greedily. With two claw-like hands the droid lifted her robe over her hips. Further arms snaked down from its wicked body.
Creeping down between her legs, a nasty little butt plug found Leia's asshole and pressed against her ring. A larger rubber cock, oozing the same clear fluid, nudged against her pussy. The mechanical arm began to slowly pump and the head of the cock slipped in and out of Leia's cunt. Her asshole opened and stretched as the droid continued to push, and finally closed over the butt plug.
Vader watched coldly, his arms crossed, as the torture droid hovered crablike over the princess. The rubber probe in her cunt pistoned faster as the butt plug in her ass held her prisoner on the end of the droid's skeletal arm. The clear fluid ran over her lips as the droid angled the rubber cock down her throat. Two more pincer arms crept down and each pinched a hard nipple through Leia's white gown.
But Leia showed no sign of tiring. She sucked the probe in her mouth and drank its robotic cum like a princess possessed. She thrust her tits at the metal fingers, moaning around the cock in her mouth as they squeezed and pinched her nipples. The cock in her pussy was pumping faster than the eye could see, but Leia pushed harder against its thrusts and the plug in her ass. Faster and harder the rubber probe thrust until it was a blur in her cunt. Leia's back arched and her abused nipples were like bullets through her gown. She gagged on the cock in her throat as two streams of the clear fluid ran from the corners of her mouth.
The torture droid struggled to restrain her writhing body with its hold on her wrists and ass. And then Leia screamed. She jerked her crotch in the air, taking the butt plug with her, and squirted a fountain of cum that drenched both torture droid and Vader. As she fell back on the cot the pumping cock slowed and was retracted from her well-fucked cunt. The plug was pulled from her ass, the rubber cock from her mouth and the droid released her arms. As it floated back, lights flashing a subdued red, Leia lay gasping for air, her eyes glazed, her legs spread. The robotic cum of the torture droid ran from her cunt and shone on her lips.
Vader stalked from the room in disgust, followed by the beaten droid, and as the door slid shut Leia's hand snuck down to her gaping pussy.
Having escaped the Star Destroyers, the crew of the Millennium Falcon gathered in the central hold area. C-3PO's holographic monster was fucking Chewie's up the ass until Han suggested it might be a good idea to let the Wookie win.
The three men were gathered around R2D2. The little droid was playing the holographic Leia clip. As they watched Leia lifted her robe over her head and her wonderful full boobs bounced free. She squeezed them, lifting one to her mouth to lick the nipple, all the time looking naughtily into the camera. Then she lay back again and her hand returned to her hairy pussy.
Ben was demonstrating the Force-wank to Luke. His brown robe hitched over his skinny thighs he stroked his cock by waving his hand a few inches above it. Luke's attempts were faltering. Although Leia touching herself had got him rock hard, waving his hand over his prick wasn't achieving much.
"Hokey religions are no match for a firm hand, kid," said Han with his fist wrapped firmly around his thick cock.
"You don't believe in the Force, do you?" said Luke, dropping his hand.
Ben smiled. "I suggest you try it again, Luke."
Hologram Leia, with her knees spread, had worked three fingers deep into her cunt. R2D2 had zoomed in on her busy fingers as, moaning and writhing, she tried to squeeze a fourth in. Luke held his hand a few inches over his cock and suddenly he felt it. It was as if his cock was in the hottest, wettest mouth in the galaxy. Like it was buried in the dripping cunt of the princess who rolled around on the floor in front of him. It was too much for the budding Jedi and he came immediately.
"Good, Luke," said Ben to the blushing boy. "The Jedi's power is to be found in semen. Cum is full of billions of mitowhorians." Seeing Luke hesitate, Obi Wan nodded encouragement. Cautiously, Luke lifted his hand to his mouth and licked the cum from between his fingers.
"Get it straight from the source if you want, kid," said Han, still wanking away as Leia tried valiantly for her entire fist.
The Millennium Falcon came out of hyperspace to discover that Alderaan was gone and that moon was no moon, and was soon captured by the awesome Death Star...
The door to Leia's cell opened. "Aren't you a little short for a stormtrooper?" she asked.
The stormtrooper cocked his head to one side, shrugged, and walked over to where the princess lay on the cot. Opening his codpiece armour, he took out a semi-hard cock and waved it in her face.
Leia wasted no time. Sitting up she took hold of his plastic hips and swallowed his cock. He was quickly rock hard in her mouth as Leia expertly blew him, her nose bumping his belly armour as she deep-throated his thick cock. He was in another world when his helmet mic crackled to life.
"TK-421. Why aren't you at your post?"
Before he could answer, another stormtrooper appeared at the door, raised his blaster and blew TK-421 clean out of Leia's mouth. The startled Leia looked up, her mouth still a perfect O.
The new stormtrooper took off his helmet and a blond boy smiled back. "I'm Luke Skywalker! I'm here to rescue you!"
This time it was Leia who shrugged, and quickly kneeling before the new arrival, opened his groin armour, and took his young cock in her mouth.
On a delicate gantry above a bottomless pit, Ben Kenobi suddenly turned from the tractor beam terminal and gripped the railing. "I feel a great disturbance in the Force," he gasped. "I fear something terrible has happened."
Han skidded to a stop at the door, laser blasts zipping past him. "Luke, we're gonna have cum..!"
Luke had managed to shed most of the stormtrooper armour, and Han looked in to see the princess on her knees, both hands on Luke's ass, eagerly sucking on his cock. Luke cast a smug glance at Han. Leia pulled off Luke's cock, a strand of cum dangling from her lips, and gave Han an appreciative look.
"We gotta go, sweetheart."
In the corridor, dodging laser blasts, Leia grabbed Luke's gun and shot out a vent. Then quickly, Leia, Luke (his semi attracting blaster fire), Chewie and Han dropped down the chute.
They found themselves in a garbage room, knee deep in muck and junk. Luke had a second to get his bearings before Leia jumped on his cock. Chewie and Han dropped from the chute in time to see Leia already going for it, Luke sat propped against a pile of trash and Leia squatting over his cock, taking him smoothly into her pussy.
Han shrugged, flung the stormtrooper armour off and took out his own stiffening cock. Squatting behind the princess, he lifted her robe and found her bare ass. She moaned encouragingly as he rubbed the head of his cock against her asshole. A couple of prods and the head was in. Leia reached back with one arm and helped pull him deeper into her ass.
Luke meanwhile reached up and had a good grope of Leia's tits. She responded by pushing harder at the two cocks inside her. Han took hold of her hips and settled in to ramming her ass properly as Chewie looked on in despair.
Suddenly there was a swirl of water, a splash, and Luke was yanked from Leia's pussy to disappear under the murky water.
"Hey!" yelled Han, but he found a thick tentacle wrapped around his thighs, pinning him inside Leia. Next to yell was the princess, as Luke's cock was replaced by one of the creature's tentacles. Its finger easily slid in her cunt and then writhed deeper into her pussy, quickly swelling to the width of her wrist. Her cry of shock and horror became midway a moan of dirty pleasure as the tentacle stretched and caressed her insides. Han tried to break free, but the monster held him firmly fucking Leia's ass.
"Chewie! Do something!" yelled Han, as he found a tentacle teasing his asshole. Next thing he knew the monster was inside, squirming its pulsating length into his ass. Another tentacle wrapped around Leia's chest, squeezing her breasts, touched her cheek, and pressed into her willing mouth.
In desperation Chewie shot at a tentacle, missed, and had to duck as the beam ricocheted around the chamber. Han was bucking wildly to escape the tentacle's thrusts in his ass, his struggles driving his cock deeper into Leia. She moaned and sucked at the dripping tentacle in her mouth as the one in her cunt writhed and turned in her wet pussy.
And then suddenly the creature was gone, and Han and Leia found their holes emptied of tentacles. A short way off Luke exploded through the surface, gasping for air. They looked at each other in stunned silence.
"I've got a very bad feeling about this," said Han.
"Did you cum in my ass?" demanded Leia, reaching under her robe.
"You wish, your highness," replied Han in a huff, buckling his trousers.
A load clank announced the beginning of the compacting cycle. The walls began to press in, forcing the four into a narrower and narrower space, certain to be crushed, until at the last moment, R2 stopped the machinery.
In the forward bay, Luke, Leia, Han and Chewie, R2D2 and C-3PO paused before the Millennium Falcon to witness Darth Vader and Obi Wan Kenobi duelling with their lightsabers. All the stormtroopers as well stopped to watch the awesome sight.
"If you strike me down, I shall become more powerful than you can possibly imagine," Ben said to Darth Vader. "And," he thought, "I can watch people having sex all day long." He lowered his lightsaber and Vader cut him down.
"Ben!" cried Luke, but his friends hustled him aboard the ship as Vader nudged the empty cloak at his feet. Stormtrooper fire rocked the Millennium Falcon as it lifted from the deck and shot into space.
"Got him! I got him!" cried Luke as a TIE fighter exploded under his cannon fire.
"Great kid! Don't get cocky!" shouted Han over the com. His cannon lay idle and Leia knelt between his legs nursing it to life. "Not a bad bit of rescuing," he smiled to himself.
In a bustling hanger bay on the rebel moon fighters were made ready for the assault on the Death Star. Beneath the Millennium Falcon Leia was telling Han that she wouldn't put his freeloading cock in her mouth if it was the last in the galaxy.
"That's not what you said on the Falcon, sweetheart."
The cockpit of Luke's X-wing was misted up. The technicians were looking everywhere for Luke and Wedge. Eventually they appeared, looking somewhat flustered, in time to destroy the Death Star.
And the Death Star destroyed, the entire rebel fleet gathered in the main throne room to honour its heroes. At the front on a podium stood Luke, Han and Chewbacca. To one side R2D2 and C-3PO, polished to a dazzling shine, watched proudly.
Luke stood beaming with his medal. Han bowed to receive his from the stunning Leia, and as she place the ribbon around his neck she mouthed, "I swallow." Han winked, Luke blushed, Chewie howled, R2D2 jiggled up and down, C-3PO put his hand to his mouth in shock, and the assembled rebel army cheered and clapped.